Saturday, December 26, 2020

Randocuisine

 

Randolicious 

Haute cuisine is not typically associated with long distance riding. None of the stars in the All-Star Special at Waffle House or on the Hardee’s sign refer to Michelin. Randonneurs seek fast, inexpensive and voluminous calories. Some long-distance riders can fuel themselves on powdered drinks and gels but I am not one of those. Early on I learned that my engine runs cleanest on real food. During PBP 2003 I had attempted to fuel myself with powdered maltodextrin, and gels but by the end of the day one my gastrointestinal tract had revolted. A rookie experimentation that nearly ended my ride but fortunately I was in France. The food offered at the controls had not been chosen at random. The menu had been cultivated from over 100 years of trial and error. I was grazing at the buffet of Audax savoring the terroir of long miles in the saddle. Slowly I recovered, fueling with mashed potatoes bolognese, riz au lait, pasta and pockets of endless jambon baguettes. I certainly have spent my share of time wandering the aisles of minimarts searching for that perfect flavor of the moment food item that would carry me to the next control. Like many others I have also used fast food restaurants as an efficient source of rando fuel but I’m not here to discuss value menus or happy meals. Let’s take a moment to savor the high gastronomy of Grand Randonnées. I hope you’re hungry. 


 Bonifay Challenge 2006 

 Breakfast was long gone on day one of the Bonifay Challenge. We were 150 miles into the ride crossing from the Florida Panhandle into southern Georgia. Our fuel gauges were reading near empty when an oasis appeared. Michelle’s Restaurant in Georgetown Georgia announced itself with the aroma of fried chicken. Like bloodhounds we followed the scent to a sign that read “daily buffet.” We didn’t need any more information. We just needed plates. Walking the aisles of Michelle’s buffet we were the proverbial kids in a candy store. During my wife Amy’s pregnancies she had unusual cravings. While I could don the pregnancy belt at our Lamaze courses to empathize with the burden of carrying the added weight of a pregnancy, I couldn’t truly understand the cravings until randonneuring. Long miles drain calories and nutrients and those need to be replaced. Michelle was here to help. With heaping plates, we grabbed a table in the outdoor section well away from the other patrons. This feeding frenzy would best be without witness. If there was a theme to my meal, it was yellow. Baked macaroni and cheese, cheesy grits, chicken and dumplings, creamed corn, sweet potato casserole and a corn muffin. As they say in the South, my meal was easy on the gums. No teeth required! Of course, this was washed down with 32 ounces of the sweetest tea this side at the Mason-Dixon line. Some readers will revolt at this plate of good ole Southern cooking but to my stomach this was rocket fuel. 



 LEL 2009 

We would pass through Traquair Scotland twice in relative quick succession at kilometer 680 and then again at 750 after the turnaround. Our initial passing was at the early breakfast hours and I found myself bleary eyed with a bowl of porridge searching for condiments. I was directed to the “condiment” table where I found only Scotch. A kilted man assured me that I was at the correct table but I passed on the suggested wee dram for now. I had my porridge straight up despite hearing about the wonders of the peat filtered Islay on offer. When we returned 4 hours later things were much more festive, and we were awake. The main course for lunch was sheet cake with a side of Scotch. As the saying goes, when in Rome…. I consented to sample the Isaly 10yr and the Glenmorangie. To refuse would have been insulting. The control worker/bartender beamed with pride as he described the notes of flavors that I would be encountering, that is after I finished my second generous serving of birthday cake. It was all washed down with a mini biere d”Or and we headed into the hills and high winds of the borderlands. 




 PBP 2015 Fougeres 

Mention your favorite control at PBP amongst a group of anciens/anciennes and you are well on your way to a spirited debate. I have always favored Villaines La Juhel, particularly for the festive atmosphere on the return but especially for the volunteer children which carry the rider’s trays. In 2015 though Ian Hands made a strong case for Fougeres having the best cuisine. The cafeteria is in a separate building from the control so I had often skipped it. Trust me, a visit to the cafeteria in the lower building is well worth your time. The menu is extensive. Decisions can be difficult for the weary randonneur, particularly with a language barrier. I decided to stick with my tried and true color scheme, this time light yellow. Pasta Carbonara, riz au lait, cold pasta salad, beer and a banana. I felt these nutrients directly entering into my bloodstream somehow bypassing my stomach. Note to self and friends, don’t forget to feed in Fougeres. 







 PBP 2011 Saint Martin des Prés 

Between Loudeac and Saint Nicholas du Pelem there is a small village that goes all out in the celebration of Paris Brest Paris. Saint Martin des Prés should not be missed. Often the route passes through twice although in 2019 it was only visited on the outbound leg. Everyone in town seems to be there. Roadside tents are filled with riders and villagers all seeking their famous Moules Frites. The mussels and fries are both cooked in massive tubs over open flames. Mussels might not seem the safest of in ride foods but they sure are délicieux! They pair well with accordion music and content smiles. Excuse the blurry screen shot of a video of mine from 2011. In 2015 there was a mussel shortage so only frites and sausage were on offer and in 2019 I didn’t study the route closely enough to realize my plan of stopping on the return was flawed. I will be back in 2023 and look forward to the tidal bounty of Saint Martin des Prés, hopefully outbound and inbound. Vive les moules frites! 






 Míle Fáilte 2018 

1200k is a long way to ride so you might as well start with a full Irish. The full Irish breakfast is guaranteed to get you to the first control, unless you are a vegetarian. Vegans and vegetarians may need to supplement. Being omnivorous I absolutely love the full Irish. Rashers (thick Irish bacon) sausage links, fried eggs, beans, black and white pudding, and mushrooms. This will come with coffee/tea, toast and brown bread and probably cereal and it will have you sailing down the road. I try not to experiment with food during an event. If possible I stick with items that have no known conflicts with my digestive tract. US riders may not be familiar with the puddings, particularly the black pudding which is illegal in the US! The puddings are not puddings at all, they are sausages. They have many of the same ingredients as typical sausages with the black pudding containing blood. If you feel a little low on iron, black pudding has you covered. Perhaps we should not further discuss “how the sausage gets made.” 




 Nebraska Sandhills 1000k 2018 

When it comes to hearty breakfasts, the Irish don’t have a monopoly. Day two of the 2018 Nebraska Sandhills 1000k would have riders slogging into a headwind for 90 miles with the only respite at a breakfast stop at the Antelope Creek Café in Gordon Nebraska. I felt like a 777 fueling up for a cross oceanic flight. With sausage patties the size of hamburgers you’d better have two. No, make it three because one comes on your side breakfast sandwich! Eggs, toast, hash browns, two jelly packets, coffee and a coke. Stops can be few and far in between in Nebraska but don’t worry because they really know how to fill up your tank. 




 PBP 2015 Sizun 

photo - Jenny Oh
Photo - Jenny Oh

Honorable Mention goes to a bakery in Sizun, since it was just one item rather than a meal. It is just off the main court in everyone’s favorite non-control town of PBP. You’ve gotten over the Roc’h Trevezel and it’s always a good time to stop in Sizun. It’s a lively place. Nearly everyone stops. In the Boulangerie/Patisserie just behind the ruins I scored the tastiest item that I have ever encountered on a ride. I was seeking the Breton delicacy the Kouign Amann but they were all out, all out of the individual ones that is. They had a 10” family size version. Oui oui indeed. The name derives from the Breton words for cake (kouign) and butter (amann). It literally is 50% yeasted dough and 50% butter… and 50% caramelized sugar. Don’t ask how they get 150% into this thing, just enjoy. Mademoiselle boxed it up and I took it outside drooling like one of Pavlov’s dogs. My riding buddies asked what plans I had for such a large pastry but I was only speaking in tongues at this point. Tongues dripping with butter and caramelized sugar that is. Once my eyes had rolled back into my head the vultures saw the open door, or box, and swept in for a bite. Oh my was all we could muster until we rolled across the Albert-Louppe Bridge in Brest. Randonneurs love riding their bikes a long way, and many of us also love food. Coincidence, or cause and effect? Whatever your motivation for long distance riding you will require fuel. Figure out what works for you, particularly over 3-4 days. Keep your eyes open and your nose in the air for that lurking rando cuisine. Perhaps your family sized Kouign Amann is out there just around the next corner. Bon Appetit!



Tuesday, April 28, 2020

PBP 2019

PBP 2019

Rick Blacker, Seattle Randonneurs and Mike Dayton, NC Randonneurs head into
 the setting sun of the first night about to follow the endless ribbon of taillights.
Loudéac, outbound. On the table was a plastic yellow tray with a bowl of potage and a few scattered baguette slices. Teardrops were falling onto baguette crust flakes. In other words, it was a typical moment in Loudéac. I was in tears and my riding buddy of fifteen years was smiling from ear to ear. In our time sharing so many roads this was my first time seeing Superman Mike Dayton abandon. I was devastated. He was relieved. Even if this was his first abandonment he sure handled it with grace and aplomb. He could teach a master course in abandoneé. He made the right decision and now basked in contentment. This is the quiet lesson that I learned from this brief moment in the chaotic Loudéac cafeteria, make the correct decision and be happy about it. This PBP was Mike’s first attempt at a Grand Randonnée since a serious crash involving a car taking out four randonneurs in 2016.  He considers his participation at PBP a huge success and so does everyone that knows him.  We should all learn by Mike’s example.  Everyone that participated in PBP 2019 should consider themselves to be a huge success. We sorted some details regarding Mike’s Loudéac extraction. Barbara Blacker who was staying in a nearby hotel would meet Mike at McDonalds. Little did she know that she would be hauling away two riders and two bikes in a Citroen Aircross C3! Barb’s husband Rick would join team abandonné as his stomach had gone on strike and decided to reject any added content. Just like that our team of 5 had been reduced to 3 and the remaining riders were no longer together. 

Lois Springsteen and Bill Bryant take a moment from volunteer duties
 at the Fougeres control to pause with Mike Dayton


I had made a commitment to Spencer Klaassen to show him how I ride PBP slowly but first I would have to catch him somewhere along the road to Nicholas St. du Pelem. He had left Loudéac before me in hopes of a quick ditch nap. If RUSA ever decides to require CRE hours (continuing randonneuring education) Spencer could offer a seminar in the art of the ditch nap. A few tips that I picked up: set the timer on your phone for 10-15 min. (no chance to make the am/pm error), take the vivarin as you lay down so it starts to take effect as you awake and if it’s cold nap at the bottom of a hill so that you warm up quickly on the restart. There are so many more subtleties to be learned on the way to ditch nap mastery. Pay attention to the experienced randos and improve your skills. Also, ask Spencer to tell you the story of a ditch nap interrupted by the police who thought they had discovered a body rolled in a tarp under the bushes. More precisely they thought they had discovered a dead body but this one was very much alive and when Spencer yelled out a primal scream upon being hoisted, all present nearly died of shock!
Ben Goldenberg, Irving Pham and Ian Kizu-Blair of San Francisco Randonneurs make up 3/4ths of the Boyz on the Hoods riding PBP 2019.  Carlin Eng was slightly ahead and not pictured.  We look forward to seeing Brian Oei in 2023!
At midnight, we would regroup in Nicholas St du Pelem. Mark Thomas, Spencer and I would start the cold predawn trip towards Brest in deep anticipation of the sun on our backs. If there is any doubt as to why life exists on our planet we are reminded each PBP as we await the rotation of earth into the life giving rays from our closest star. Like flowers opening to the sun, Randonneurs come back to life with the return of light.  Still in the dark, Mark was sleepy but easily woke himself up by riding into a hedge. Three hours of sleep in Nicholas du Pelem combined with the previous night of no sleep due to the 90hr start from Rambouillet and you have a recipe for rando sleep riding. Spencer and I decided to forego the dream riding and stopped for a ditch nap on our way up the Roc’h Trezevel. I’m always amazed what 10 minutes of sleep can do for the weary randonneur.

My apprentice, Spencer Klaassen, Audax Kansas City aces the boulangerie lesson in Sizun.

I love Sizun. Sizun is worthy of stops outbound and return. There is a bakery tucked off the square near the ruins that is amazing. In 2015, I had the Kouign Amann but this time they were all out. I had the Breton Cake instead with salted caramel in the middle layer. Oh my! It might cost me 15 minutes of sleep later but it was so worth it.  On the return, we hit the crêperie just across the street from the ruins.  There are worse things than eating a thin pancake covered with melted cheese and ham while sipping cider as a continuous stream of joyous riders pass by.

Of course, we stopped for photos on the Albert Louppe Bridge over the Elorn River. 
Albert Louppe bridge over the Elorn River buzzing with paparazzi per usual.  
 We posed amongst the hordes of excited Randonneurs with the iconic Pont de L’Iroise in the background.  Although Brest is only halfway, it somehow feels more than that. At the controle outside the restaurant I noticed a bicycle that required inspection. The name plate read Alain Collongues!! I spoke with Alain briefly and wished him well. He was so kind and engaging. I later learned that he successfully completed his 12th PBP. Let that sink in for a bit, 12 successful Paris Brest Paris finishes and he even missed one due to his honeymoon. Jean-Claude Chabirand and Dominique Lamouller also recorded their 12th PBPs which stands as the current record for number of finishes.
It was my honor to share a moment and a laugh with
Alain Collongues, Audax Club Parisien in Brest.
 Alain successfully completed his 12th PBP!
There were four RUSA members in France with the highest totals of finishes by Americans. Lois Springsteen of Santa Cruz did not add to her total of 7 since she was volunteering at the Fougeres control with husband Bill Bryant. Doug Kirby, Paul Bacho and Thomas Gee all rolled over the starting line with 8 PBPs to their credit but none of the three would attain their 9th.  Ken Billingsley was able to finish and now stands tied with the above three with 8 PBP finishes.

This year the start/finish was moved to Rambouillet at the National Bergerie. While the logistics of the start/finish area were a bit challenging and close by accommodations far fewer than St. Quentin, the setting was idyllic and the front and tail ends of the course were significantly improved since the urban riding was no longer necessary.

Mimo Demarco, DC Randonneurs, Lesli Larson, Willamette Randonneurs and Ryan Thompson, Santa Rosa Randonneurs 
head for a rising hot air balloon and Mortagne Au Perche, day 3.

Have you ridden with Mark Thomas at PBP? At PBP 2019 someone coined a new title for Mark, the “pope of randonneuring” although US ambassador to the United Nations seems functionally more appropriate. Mark knows every 5th rider and their place of origin on the globe matters not as he has ridden everywhere. After going fast in 2015 Mark decided to slow down and savor the crêpes complêt with some friends. He also managed an entry into la Société Adrian Hands. Until this current edition of PBP there were no dual citizens in la Société Adrian Hands (>88:55) and Charly Miller (<56:40). Now there are four, Mark Thomas, Ian Hands, Tim Bol and Thai Nguyen.

Mark Thomas, Seattle Randonneurs heading for Dreux on the final morning.

The official 32.1% dnf rate of PBP 2019 surpassed the 30.1% of the very wet 2007 edition and gives one insight as to how difficult the headwinds were, particularly on the way toward Brest. The predawn chill also surprised some riders although Anciens are well aware of and well prepared for cool mornings in Bretagne. Many riders saw temperatures in the upper 30s!

Plans are nice but simply function as a point of reference. We had a hotel booked just past Mortagne-au-Perche inbound but couldn’t make it due to fatigue. Spencer and I laid down in the vacuous Mortagne sleeping area with a 3:30 wakeup planned. At 3:00 my next mat neighbor’s iPhone alarm sounded and I awoke. He hit snooze or off and went back to sleep. Now I was facing an ethical dilemma. Should I wake up a soundly sleeping Spencer or just slide out into the night solo?  I recalled my promise to show Spencer how I PBPed and I couldn’t really do that if he remained sleeping.  I woke him and we rolled out.  We made it down off from Mortagne in the dark cool air and were gathering a gruppetto by the time we rolled into Dreux.  This is where we added Ian Hands to our group.  Talk about next level insanity.  Ian had successfully Charly Miller’d on a fixed gear without support then slept, took a train to Bretoncelles, ridden back up to Mortagne with Shermer’s neck and a golf ball sized blister on his left hand just so he could ride in with us!  We rode in together recounting stories of our hero, Mike Dayton and shedding a few more tears.  It was a joyous finish as we crossed the line and proceeded to the ceremony of collecting our final stamps.

Gary Delnero and Spencer Klaassen sport matching Audax KC mudflaps as we slow roll into Paris on the final morning.  Mark Thomas scouts the route 50 meters ahead.


The final stamp as captured by Jeff Newberry.
In my five PBPs this is the first time that I’ve heard negative chatter on the interwebs about the event.  I will never feel that it is my place to criticize PBP.   The fact that the organizers can actually pull it off is beyond mind boggling.  It could not be accomplished anywhere else on the planet.  There is only one PBP and despite some questionable actions by participants it remains the pinnacle of our sport.  Paris Brest Paris is not defined by the riders or their actions, it is the people along the course and behind the scenes that make Paris Brest Paris.  Paris Brest Paris is the 8-year-old girl that carries your tray in Villaines La Juehl after telling you, “je suis forte” (she is strong).  Paris Brest Paris is the control worker who patiently helps the weary rider with an infinite number of problems relating to man/woman or machine.  Paris Brest Paris is the roadside stand at 2am with coffee and cakes manned by a family with a small fire to warm shivering riders.  Paris Brest Paris is Paul Rogue’s crepe stand in Tanniere open throughout the event and providing crepes avec sucre and coffee in exchange for a post card from home. Paris Brest Paris is the now retired Ancien who stamps cards at the final control. He peers deeply into your eyes as he shakes your hand offering the most sincere of congratulations.  His eyes and handshake speak the unspoken, he knows what you have accomplished and that you should be proud of that achievement.  I am, and so should all the participants.  Bravo PBP, you did it again.  You beat us up, you knocked us down, you picked us up and dusted us off, fed our bellies and souls and you stole our hearts.  See you in 2023.

The children that help carry the trays at the Villaines cafeteria seek out the riders who seem to be most in need of assistance. 
I’m always identified as needing assistance.




Below is an excerpt from Mark Thomas describing one act of kindness that helps define PBP.


Paris-Brest-Paris is, in many ways, defined by the many kindnesses, large and small, shown to riders by volunteers, by other riders, and above all, by the people of the regions through which it passes. Over my 6 PBPs, the stories of generosity are among my favorite memories. 

Before the event this year, I friended a man on Facebook who lives in Tinténiac (about halfway from Paris to Brest), whom I knew only as a guy who had taken nice pictures of PBP riders past. I sent him a note suggesting that it would be fun if we could meet in person and say hello at the contrôle.

He countered that we should instead stop by his place for a coffee or whatever else we might need. That sounded lovely and we agreed. 

After tracking us inbound, he met our little group of riders at the control, where he was readily identifiable by the professional-looking camera hanging from his neck. After giving us directions to ride to his place, he walked there himself to meet us. 

At home, we met his wife. The most tired among us took them up on the offer of a place to sleep. The rest of us were ushered to a lovely quiet back yard. 

A giant picnic began to materialize. Baguettes, a half dozen elegant local cheeses, and salamis and other meats. Soft drinks and local beer accompanied stories of the couple’s life in Tinténiac and their time as aid workers in Africa. 

Unbeknownst to us, this spectacular spread was only the appetizer course and steak and pasta were next out of the kitchen. After some lovely coffee and a proffer of granola bars for our jersey pockets, we somewhat reluctantly re-mounted our bikes in search of Loudéac down the road, but with full bellies and warmed hearts. 

Thank you Annick and Jean-michel Bergougniou for making our PBP extra special. 

Mark Thomas 


Sunday, January 20, 2019

Haiti 2019



Typical street scene on our commute to work

Haiti is a confusing place. Yin and yang not only balance each other but they battle each other. It is a place filled with life (avg age 23, US 38) and a place filled with death, often of the very young (under 5 mortality in Haiti is 47/1000, US 6/1000). under 5 mortality  We have met some of the kindest, most gentle souls despite the petri dish of deep seated corruption that is brutal and pervasive. The conflict infects visitors. At one moment you think of selling it all and moving there to help those in need and a minute later you’re moving up your return flight to escape back to the comforts of home. These are not random thoughts. They grow from realty. Twice I phoned Dr. Mark, a dentist who had literally sold everything, including his practice to move to Haiti and build a hospital. You might think it may not last but that was 27 years ago. The team before ours had flown home a day early due to more planned riots protesting the price of gasoline. The price of gas had increased by order of the President to $4.75/gal, more than twice as much as most Haitian's daily income.  US issues warning about Haiti  I want to come more often and then I want never to return. The conflict is within me. Like many of the rampant tropical diseases, there is no vaccine for this infection.

St. Dominics Orphanage, goats near chicken house


Amplifying the dizziness was our movement between different worlds this visit. Our planned accommodations at the ALOM Clinic were not quite ready for its first visitors so we fell back on plan B, staying at a beachside resort.  Each night we returned to cold beers and a spectacular Caribbean sunset.  We enjoyed a full buffet dinner bathed in onshore sea breezes after a day of sweating at a dusty clinic site and a lunch of peanut butter sandwich washed down with room temperature water.  I did not want to stay at the resort because I thought it wouldn't seem right.  Wouldn't it feel indulgent, especially when so many have so little?  Then when we actually did spend the last night at the clinic, I longed for my cold beer and beautiful setting sun over the Caribbean Sea.   I don't think I'm strong enough to survive in Haiti.  It is a place only for the strongest.

Sunset at Kaliko Bay 


Returning from a mobile clinic site to the fixed clinic we entered into chaos.  A patient had just been brought in bleeding profusely from a knife wound.  He had allegedly been stabbed by his wife.  She was already in police custody and unfortunately for both of them, the good people at ALOM were unable to save him.  I was on the phone with Dr. Mark discussing options when I saw chest compressions begin.  He was too unstable for transport and an ambulance was nowhere in sight.  He had lost too much blood and units of available blood in Haiti are as likely as a snow storm.  Her assault charge was upgraded to murder.  A paper sheet was pulled up over the 25yo victim and the bloody floor was mopped.  The sterile smell of chlorox quickly masked the scent of death.  His parents came to collect his body.  The very next day Dr. Vlad was called to the women's prison to examine the wife.  She had apparently had entered a catatonic state upon learning of her husband's passing.  She refused to respond to Dr. Vlad.  The prison officials felt that she would be better cared for outside of prison so she was transported to the ALOM fixed site.  This is how we came to spend the night with her and her around the clock detail of guards as we inaugurated the conference room on our cots behind locked doors.  She and the guards were in a different room.  The morning of our departure she was once again speaking.  It is a very sad situation where everyone lost.  He lost his life.  She lost her freedom and their two month old baby lost both parents.  This event will not be reported in the paper or on the evening news.  If the AP picks it up it will be from my blog.

Kaliko Bay Resort -purple star  ALOM Clinic - yellow star


Amy saw a baby on Monday that had recently been found in a latrine.  The baby was now with an adoptive family providing care but was failing to gain weight. She prescribed higher caloric formula and recommended another weight on Friday but she didn't see the baby again.  What would the options be if there was no weight gain though? The odds are against that baby but at least it has found a supportive family.  The baby had been found by a 12yo boy.  The hero was rewarded with a year of school and a uniform by Dr. Vlad.  School is never free in Haiti.  The approximate cost for a year of school and the mandatory uniform is $70.  Hopefully the found baby will make it into one of those uniforms one day.

Amy seeing patients at Tapyo mobile clinic


I want our kids to go on these trips because I want them to have perspective.  A visit to Haiti provides perspective, especially inside healthcare delivery.  Abbey probably got more than she was expecting.  She saw a baby left for dead in a latrine.  She watched a man bleed to death.  She not only worked in triage at the mobile clinics, she was triage at one site when nurse Lucy got called back to the fixed site for a government inspection.  Abbey took blood pressures, temperatures and even did finger pricks to obtain blood sugar levels.  She recorded those vitals and passed the cards onto the waiting doctors.  This was all done without an interpreter since triage has no interpreter.  I was very proud of her and very pleased with her experience on this trip.

Abbey checks blood pressure at Arcahaie mobile clinic


One case in which all three of us participated I suspect will haunt us for sometime.  It is a 15yo boy that looks like he was just liberated from a concentration camp.  He is the thinnest person I've ever seen.  By ultrasound I detected a massively dilated stomach and no other abnormality.  What could be the cause of such a finding? Chronic gastric ulcer, post inflammatory stenosis, lymphoma, bezoar, parasite? He had actually been seen a week earlier in the clinic and had appropriately received a dose of worm medicine and a course of antibiotics.  In the US this kid would be admitted to the hospital.  A PICC line would be placed for nutrition.  A gastroenterologist would be consulted and an endoscopy with biopsies would be performed.  A pediatric surgeon would also be consulted.  I suspect a gastric bypass would be performed.  It's not that easy in Haiti though.  There is no free healthcare or free hospital.  This case is the second time that I had called Dr. Mark for advice.  He recommended a few hospitals, including Paul Farmer's in Mirebalais but said we would need to travel with the patient and to bring at least US$2000 to get the boy admitted.  We were leaving the next morning so this was impossible.  Admission often takes paying a series of bribes from guards to doctors over a series of days.  Nurses hoard supplies and then sell them to patients.  Families are required to care for their own family members inside of the hospital.  We heard many stories firsthand from people who had experienced the system from the inside.  One particularly revealing example was the US$1,000 that was needed to retrieve the body of someone's father who had passed after a short admittance to the government hospital in Port Au Prince.  I suspect he will be gone soon as he is weak and already very anemic.

Basile putting the finishing touches on another busy day at ALOM


A parallel system "providing" healthcare in Haiti is the Witchdoctor.  Witchdoctors can be found in every town and village.  If the witchdoctor recommends something, the family does it.  No questions.  These are mysterious men with feared powers.  Many times the treatments involve potions or foul smelling poultices.  Some witchdoctors though are more inventive.  We heard of a family that was dealing with a daughter with severe typhoid.  She needed inpatient care but the hospital wanted $10,000 up front.  They couldn't afford it so they sought the witchdoctor.  He said that he needed $20,000 and they needed to leave her with him for 10 days!  They raised the money.  Sometimes families sell a vehicle or a home to raise these funds.  The witchdoctor then took the woman to the hospital and paid the $10,000 but made certain that the staff knew that they only had ten days for the cure.  When the family returned, they were very pleased to find their daughter cured as promised.

Traffic circle might help this intersection

I am thankful for our wonderful hosts in Haiti, Drs.  Vlad and Merline. We bonded with the thoughtful and kind staff at the Alpha Omega Clinic, especially Junior, Sony, Mackenson, Lucy, Dr. Francise and Jude. We are grateful for the Sisters of Mercy that organize these trips.  In particular, none of this would be possible without Dr. Ellen Lawson.  We are fortunate to know her.  Her example is humbling.  She can best be described by one of our long distance cycling mantras, "relentless forward motion."  Her life experiences could fill a book or two but I expect that she'll never have the time to sit down and write one since she is always "doing." 

I suspect it will take a while to recover from this visit.  Haiti is a state of constant heightened awareness.  It pushes on you and pulls on you.  You never know quite what to expect but you're definitely getting something, a new perspective. 

Naway pita Haiti.





Friday, January 4, 2019

Thriller

We had completed the difficult task of the day. Nine people had arrived from 5 separate locations on 4 different flights and were now piling into a rented Dodge Caravan in San Juan, Puerto Rico. We loaded up google maps on multiple phones and battled our way through traffic and unmarked lanes to Vega Baja on the North Shore about an hour west of the capital. We had completed a most comprehensive tour of our rental house, which was conducted in Spanish. A few things were lost in translation which became evident as we found that we did not possess the keys to the upstairs portion of the tour, which was simply advertising for next time. Anyway, we were past all that because we were hungry! We needed food. We reloaded google maps with a target, the closest one of the two restaurants which our hostess had provided as a recommendation. We asked for four recommendations since we would have four dinners at Vega Baja but alas only two places could be suggested as suitable for us.
Our intended destination was La Casa del Pescador. Vamanos! Did I mention that we were hungry? As we approached La Casa my crew began to salivate. Pavlov would have been proud. One small problemo though. No casa. Vacant lot with a few stray dogs sí, but casa, no. We were more likely to find a missing person than to score some mofongo. I locked the doors and redirected the caravan. Perhaps it was further down the dead end. It was not. Fortunately for our Donner party, an oasis appeared, Villa Pesquera Cibuco!


We were greeted with smiles and a warm welcome.  The two largest tables were pushed together and surrounded by white plastic chairs. Sure, our table was directly in front of the DJ and the music was deafeningly loud, but that didn’t matter because we had menus. The menus were the single page laminated kind with a few sparse pictures and many words which were new to us. Our waitress only spoke Spanish but it didn’t really matter because with the volume of the music, our only chance at communicating was through sign language. In a break between songs we found out that her favorite fish was grillo (red snapper). I don’t recall everyone’s order but the overwhelming majority of our food would visit the depths of a deep fryer before arriving to satisfy our hunger. Just as poplar trees herald the comeback after a forest fire, deep fryers dominate food preparation after natural disasters. Medalla light, the cerveza of Puerto Rico, arrived along with conch fritters. The fritters were a flop. They were not the deep fried balls with little bits of conch and vegetables. They were more like a puffy empanada with soup inside but the beer was ice cold and just 77 calories per 10 oz can. The bottles of beer came with napkins stuffed into their mouths.
The kitchen was open air and directly in front of us. We saw all the happenings. Five ladies in hair nets bustled about preparing our order. To make up for the unsatisfying “fritters” we broke down and ordered fries and mozzarella sticks. They were disposed of with great efficiency. Although this was hardly embracing the local cuisine, we still had fish orders to come. Turns out there was a whole lot more to come besides our fish!

The DJ had finally recognized that our crowd was less than 75,000 and had turned the volume down to a point where we could nearly hear the person beside us. Perhaps "VJ" is a better term for this evening's maestro since he was not just playing music but was showing the accompanying music videos on a flat screen tv, behind which he was hidden.

Our food trickled in a plate at a time. By the time my whole fish snapper arrived I was hungry enough to eat it whole! The grillo exceeded my wildest expectations. It was beyond fabulous. When our waitress came by to check on my meal I gushed as enthusiastically as our language barrier and the pumping bass would allow. She pulled out her phone to show me pictures of the snapper just hours before hanging from a line held by her husband. Her husband had caught my dinner! This more than made up for the fries and mozzarella sticks.



I surveyed the table over the pile of fish bones in front of me.  I was feeling quite satisfied and by the looks of things so was my crew.  Next would come that tricky task of obtaining the check.  I figured this would take some time but it seemed that our waitress had disappeared.  I called over another waitress who had served us a few beers and she noted my request. She walked into the kitchen and the calculations commenced.  Two women worked together surveying our table and pecking away on a calculator.  It was about this time that the "clown" who had arrived earlier began his performance.  He was not in fact a clown.  He was the king of pop, Michael Jackson! 



We noticed him earlier but had no inkling of his intentions.  We had seen the chubby MJ milling about the VJ setup with pancake makeup, red lipstick and a dark suit.  My guess was that we were in for an animal balloon demonstration.  I was wrong.  We were in for the second coming of the Man in the Mirror. He now sported a fedora and was dancing to "Smooth Criminal" with a microphone.  It was not long before he was sweating more than a sinner in church.  He definitely showed off some unexpected moves for a big guy. 






It looked like he needed an iv as "Smooth Criminal" was finishing but he then launched directly into "Billie Jean"! He knew the steps.  He even showed off the moon walk! He attempted to engage our table but Abbey was having none of it.  She was not dancing with the King of Pop.  Emma, however, stepped into the humid night air and became his dance partner for a few magical moments.  After "Billie Jean" he disappeared around a corner into the dark and I thought that the show was over.  Again, I was wrong, because when he re-emerged in a red leather jacket we all knew what we were in for..."Thriller"! He did the whole zombie intro and everything.  His stamina was impressive.  The 1983 Thriller video was 13 minutes in length and this performance was true to the original. Eventually though it did end and that was the finale...at least of the Michael Jackson performance.  There was still Karaoke to come.  While MJ's fedora was passed for tips, a patron from the back took the microphone and launched into a soaring anthem.  She did not need the words scrolling on the tv screen.  People appeared to be lining up for their turns and our check was nowhere in sight.  Our original waitress then reappeared and with hair net in one hand and a microphone in the other I knew that our check would be a little bit longer in arriving at our table. She also moved about the room, having no need for the scrolling words and bouncing dot.  During a pause in the lyrics she was standing at our table and she asked Anna if we would like to go next.  Anna respectfully declined, telling the waitress that we needed to get to the grocery store before 9pm and it was already 8:30!  The check did eventually arrive and we settled up.  Anna laughed on our way to the grocery store about how lame it must have sounded as we excused ourselves from our turn at stardom.  Let's face it though, no one in their right mind was going to take the mic after those two songs and a night of reincarnated Michael Jackson!

Thursday, September 20, 2018

PBP 2003


PBP 2003

by John Ende



I became interested in Paris Brest Paris through casual examination of a wall display at the Bicycle Inn in Bakersville, NC. I asked, "What's this?"
Michael Davis who rode PBP in 1995 and owner of the Inn answered, "That's PBP".  "Huh" I inquired, "750 miles?"
He then told me all about the ride and the supportive spectators. He told me about pain and triumph and then he said something that peaked my interest. "After finishing I was on a three month high." That sounded good, a three month high.

I signed up for the brevet series in 
Spartanburg
This series is filled with rolling hills and run by Ann Mullins, three-time finisher of PBP. Each of the four events, 200, 300, 400 and 600km rides were the longest of my cycling career up until that point. Each time upon finishing I thought, "Can I come back in two weeks and add 60 or 120 more miles?" Each time I did. I quickly learned that brevet riding is different from my usual century riding. Brevet riders talk. The pace of course is more casual. Brevet riders stop and eat, PIZZA, BURRITOS, and BIG MACS? I was not used to this during a ride. Hey I kind of liked it. Also, if someone in a group stopped, most everyone stopped. Brevet riders ride funny bikes that I had never encountered. Steel lugged bikes with names I never heard of. I wondered if the names on the frames were the names of the riders or the manufacturers. Some had fenders and everyone was carrying more gear than me. Some had retro upright handlebars without drops. Some had BELLS? That's right BELLS, like jingle, jingle, jingle. Many of the riders wore sandals, like Tevas. Anyway, I liked it more than my usual century fare. After completing the 600km ride I had to contemplate the possibility of riding another 600km. PBP after all is 1200km. Could I do it? There was only one way to find out. Fill out the application and send it. 

I flew to Paris with my family arriving on Saturday August 16th. We 
drove from CDG to the Novotel in St. Quentin in our Nissan Terrano. This vehicle will hold one full size bike box (Trico Iron Case). We had actually reserved a minivan called the Renault Scenic. Fortunately for our family of six (me, my wife Amy, our kids Clare, Patrick, Abbey and my bike) Europcar did not have our minivan available, despite our reservation. When they call something a MINI-van in France, they MEAN IT!!! There is NO WAY to fit a bike box into or onto a Renault Scenic. It would be more likely to fit the Renault Scenic into a bike box. A Renault Espace (Maxi-van?) likely will take a bike box. The ride was not bad, around an hour. After 9 hrs on the plane with three kids, we had a weak moment and stopped at McDonalds as we neared the hotel. I know, downright appalling, and it wasn't even the only time that I would stop at McDonalds during a weak moment on this trip. St. Quentin is a rather sterile suburb of Paris, but it is bike friendly and highly enthusiastic about PBP. I assembled my bike in less than 30 minutes and we stocked up on supplies. The next day Amy and the kids drove to La Trinite Porhoet where they provided support to riders along the course over the next few days. We had rented a house for the week and I was planning on two sleep stops, both with my family at our rented Breton longhouse house in La Trinite Porhoet (425 km & 793 km). 

I headed to bike inspection. 
You really don't have to know what is going on or where you need to go. All you do is walk out of your hotel and start following other bicycles. This is exactly how I found my way to the bike inspection. First they Ok'd my reflective jersey by writing on it "03" with a small magic marker. Not quite the interrogation that I had expected. How did he even know it was reflective? I mean we were standing in broad daylight. Couldn't anyone of my three kids have certified my vest with a counterfeit "03" using their arsenal of traveling magic markers. Next there was a brief shakedown followed by a Frenchman asking me in French appropriately, if I had spare bulbs, I think. "Oui" was my response. Voila I had passed inspection. I parked my bike on the Astroturf soccer field and headed inside for my rider packet. All the various tables inside the gym have small flags and I quickly found the American table. I think I signed a form certifying mental instability, picked up my jerseys and a t-shirt and I was off. 

The top 100 things about PBP are the people. The organizers, participants, support crew, volunteers, riders and most of all the local spectators.

PROLOGUE & PREGAME

I rode the prologue with the oldest PBP participant, Jack Eason from the Willesden cycling club outside London. Jack is mid 70s but I'm not sure exactly how mid. Jack was riding an interesting machine. Four sprockets with upright old timey handle bars. I later learned that he fell asleep on his bike during the event and crashed out, but I did see him looking just fine at the awards ceremony. He was carrying a huge trophy and sporting an equally large smile. Willesden I understand has often been awarded the highest international club finish rate for PBP.

After the prologue I rode back to a pâtisserie that I had spotted while

lost on my way to the prologue start. I had le dejeuner. Baguette avec jambon et fromage, coke and a Paris Brest. Trés delicieux!! The Paris Brest was so good that I had another. All in all I rode 90 km the day before the ride. I then napped for three hours. That night I went to watch the start of the 80 hr group. Of course I once again got lost and actually witnessed the first 80-hour wave speeding trough a roundabout 1 km into their ride. These guys looked like real riders. Was I in over my head? Several of them carried large packs upon their backs. Did I need a large pack on my back? I did make it almost to the start line to see the second wave of 80 hr riders. It was quite exciting. The streets were closed to traffic and lined with enthusiastic spectators. The start line was wild, complete with some type of Moroccan music and kids doing crazy stunts. One girl about 8 yrs old was riding a stationary bike spinning hypnotic wheels. As I watched they spoke (pun here) to me, "You are crazy, you are crazy, you are crazy." It was awesome. It was festive.

I rushed over for the pre ride dinner, ate, talked witht
Jimmy Williams and headed back to the start. It was now nine and the sun was beginning to set. I leaned over the railing to look at the riders heading into the tunnel under the road and to my surprise saw someone I knew. It was Ann Mullins (3rd PBP) and Will Martin (1st PBP). They looked ready. I turned around to find someone else that I knew. Ian Flitcroft was sitting in the grass eating his last minute meal. This was Ian's 3rd PBP and he was in no hurry to line up.

DAY ONE



I did not stay for the 90 hr start as I was now worrying about 

getting some sleep. I went back to the hotel and did some last minute prep before tossing and turning for a few hours. Before I knew it, it was time to get up, three o-clock. I think I may have slept 2 hrs. I left the hotel and rode behind Susan Notorangelo and Lon Haldeman. I figured if anyone could get me to the line these two could. Lon was on his single speed with a big Route 66 sign on the back. Susan was on her bike Friday and not riding the event. Check in was quick. Of all the controls I most feared missing this one. If you don't check in by 5:00 you are out, or so I was told by anxious participants at my hotel the night before. I lined up right behind Bob Coulter, took a few pics and we were off. We blasted through the desolate streets of the suburbs. The roundabouts were super fun. Note: roundabouts very good for cyclists. Riding down one wide stretch still in the main unbroken pack I saw the sea of riders part in front of me to avoid a large pack sliding along the road. It was amazing that no one went down. Five kms into the ride and someone had lost their pack? Come on shakedown crew, maybe you need a refresher course. I personally never saw a crash although I heard of several later. 

It is an exhilarating feeling to finally be on this ride. The pack is 
huge. It is dark. It is fast. It is PBP. Exiting the suburbs, the course descends down into relatively flat farmland. This is the flattest part of the route, and we would be very happy to see it again some 3 days later. I was surprised at how quickly we were into the countryside. Weren't we just in Paris? The first hour was fabulous but intense. Such large packs in the dark make attentive riding mandatory. Once the sun started to come up groups started to form. I fell into a group of 30 riders, mostly Danes with some French and 2 other Americans. The Americans were Johnny Delia and Greg Schild. They are from Audax NYC and their jerseys said so. They were riding in the front of our group while I was hanging at the back. Next to me was a French rider who was already consuming massive caloric quantities. Johnny and Greg bridged us up to another group as a few riders went off the back. I thought the pace was brisk but I was not working any more than I had planned. When Greg came to the back for a bathroom break I told him that they needed to get off the front. He agreed and wound up riding at the back with me for a while. I gave Johnny a hard time about the baby wipes that were sticking out of his jersey pocket. They didn't know that I had my own secret stash of baby wipes. Even neophytes know that one must be fastidious when it comes to personal hygiene. Eventually Johnny dropped a water bottle and Greg went back to get it. Johnny stopped with him. I slowed down then we all quickly rejoined our group. I liked these guys because they were here to ride together and help each other. They even carried whistles in case they got out of eyesight in a large group. They also were a riot to be around. 

We made good time to Mortagne-au-Perche despite 
stiff climbing into the town. It was 9:50 so we had covered 141 km in 4 hr 50 min, or just over 28 km/hr. This was ahead of my projected pace of 26 km/hr for the first day, ah but the day was young. I stopped for water although this was not an official control for the out trip. This stop would look very different to me almost 3 days later. I mixed up some sustained energy and was on my way. I separated from Greg and Johnny at the feed stop but made good time to Villaines-la-Juhel in a pack made up of mostly French. All in all we covered the first 100 miles in 5:50. Now I know that this is nothing to write home about but I thought that it wasn't bad considering that we were scheduled to complete 6.5 MORE consecutive centuries! I was 1/2 hr ahead of schedule in Mortagne (141km), and then 20 minutes ahead of schedule at Villaines-la-Juhel (221km). At this pace I thought that I could make la Trinite Porhoet by 10 pm, climb into bed and sleep between 5-8 hr. Plans and pace are funny things. They are dynamic things. Things change. That is all you can count on. 

The section after Villaines-la-Juhel became very hilly and in the heat of the day was
quite slow. By the time I reached Fougeres (300km), I was back on my original schedule. Just before the control I stopped for deux baguettes avec jambon et fromage, and some water. I saw a guy abandon just outside the bakery. With baguettes sticking out of my jersey pockets I saw no need to eat at the Fougeres control. I sent a pre paid post card, which was provided at the control to Michael Davis at the Bicycle Inn, drank a coke and was gone. The section from Fougeres to Tinteniac (360km) was fast. I covered 60 km in 2:15. I rode first with a single French rider who was really hammering. I pulled some but mainly drafted. Next we joined a passing group. It was made up of French and Danes. I rode mainly at the front with a different big French rider. We traded pulls and stormed into Tinteniac like we were in some kind of race or something. Anyway I thought it was fun and I congratulated the French cyclist on his riding, "Vous etes fort aujourd'hui." He smiled and sat down for a rest. I'm not certain if the smile was out of contentment or in response to my North Carolina/French accent. One rider that had not been in our group was lying on the ground with dry heaves. I asked the medic to check him out but he had already crawled back to his bike and was waiving assistance off. I bought another jambon and headed out still in daylight for La Trinite Porhoet a mere 65 kms away. I still had hopes of arriving at La Trinite just before eleven. This would allow me a luxurious five-hour sleep break. 

Thirty-five km out of Tinteniac on a relatively easy section it hit. 
Stomach cramps!!!! What was this grumbling in my stomach? Was it the large volume of sustained energy that I had consumed? Was it the water that I had accepted from a kid on the side of the road? Was it mesenteric ischemia, a life threatening condition that I thought may have been reported in ultra athletes. Hey that's weird, am I an ultra athlete? Every time I pedaled over 10 km/hr the cramping became so intense that it sent me doubled over to the side of the road were I would stand over my bike until the intense pain had stopped. I would continue a short way and the pattern would repeat. It ultimately took me 3hrs to cover the last 30km. At one point I was briefly confused by a mass of moving lights heading toward me. I thought it was a truck or tractor but the lights were moving independent of one another. Was this the end? Were these the lights that I had heard described by people who have had near death experiences? No! It was the lead pack, heading back to Paris. I was jealous. The pack was around 20 riders at this point. After a nanosecond of calculations, I resigned myself to the fact that I was not going to catch those guys. The next closest riders were around 30 minutes back in smaller groups. Of course I missed the large glowing sign that said JAKE, logging in 10 or so bonus kms before reaching the house. I arrived at 12:30 and immediately headed for the bathroom. I don't really wish to discuss all the details of my gastrointestinal disturbance but lets just say if I did it would bring tears to your eyes. Possibly out of pity for another human being or possibly out of hysterical laughter. I spent most of the night evacuating my colon. Brief moments of respite from my 5 hr bathroom break included Amy feeding me in bed as mashed potatoes fell out of my mouth onto my pillow and banging my shin firmly into something immoveable in the dark on my way back to the bathroom. 

Amy is a pediatrician. Although I had been
cursed, I was also provided with the saint to cure my ailment. If a pediatrician can't cure diarrhea, who can? Not only is she a pediatrician, we have three kids. Having three kids is equivalent to doing a fellowship in diarrhea. In between bites of potatoes she fed me bananas and pepto bismol. I actually could stand around 5:00am. I ate a mashed potato omelet and Amy saw me off. No one else awoke. As I walked out of the house Amy convinced me to take my leg warmers. That single act saved my life. If someone has completed PBP without leg warmers (or tights) they likely are blessed with walrus DNA and suffer from peripheral neuropathy. It got amazingly cold the next night but more on that later.

DAY TWO

EDITOR'S NOTE: NO PICTURES FROM THE 2nd DAY DUE TO MY CONDITION

I rode slowly, but I was pleased that I was riding at all. Loudeac
(445km), the next control was only 20km away. I rolled in at 7:00am, only ninety minutes before control closing. I had noticed some more cramping on the way to Loudeac. I thought if the cramping continues, I'm not going to be able to make the control cutoffs. After a brief visit to the outdoor potty, I limped into the first aid station. "Parlez-vous Anglais?" "Non" was the response of the two high school/college age girls staffing the station. OK, I thought it is just my PBP life on the line and now I am relying on my high school French to prolong my existence. "Je suis mal", I began. "J'ai le diarrhea (pronounced by me as "dee-ah-ree-ah"). Their muffled giggles led me to believe that I was actually communicating my situation. One of the girls got some medicine off the shelf and poured two pills in my hand. The other wrote in my control book. It seems that the whole Audax Club Parisien would now be informed of my bowel habits. I motioned that I wanted to see the bottle. Now I am a doctor; however, I am a radiologist. I know nothing about medicines. I did recognize one of the main ingredients in the pills now in my hand, Chloral Hydrate. Hey isn't that a sedative narcotic? Oh well, I needed something and the bottle did say anti-diarrhitique. I took them and rolled out of Loudeac.

I was following two riders when we reached the next small town, Uzel (461km).
It was around 8am and the town was pretty quiet except for two young boys holding a large arrow directing us down a large hill. Unfortunately for us this was off course. Fortunately for me the other two riders were not under the influence of narcotics and suspected foul play within a few kms of our misdirection. We asked a couple standing next to their motor home about the PBP course and they informed us that we were now off of the course. We headed back up the hill into town with thoughts of revenge. I wondered about the French customs when it came to dealing with 9-year-old deviants. Alas there was no bloodshed. The perpetrators had taken cover, likely awaiting our departure and the next unsuspecting riders. Next up was our first secret control. I think the place was called St. Martin. I'm not sure. I saw Lon Haldeman coming out of the control. I was somewhat pleased to be with him at this point even though he was riding his fixed gear and probably sleeping 8 hrs per night. Eventually I made my way through the moderate rolling section into Carhaix. In Carhaix after eating I was heading out to get back on my bike when a massive wave of sleepiness came over me. Well, I did just make this control before closing time, but I think I'll just lie down here in the grass for a few minutes. Other riders were sleeping right there in the grass. Their ZZZs had pulled me down. I was gone.

One hour later I woke up when someone stepped on me. Maybe
that is why riders chose to sleep in these very public places. Eventually something is going to wake you up. I visited the WC before leaving and passed by the first aid station. There were quite a few riders inside, mainly with foot and knee problems. I felt for them. I got going. I didn't know if I could make Brest before control closing. I feared the Roc TrévezelLe Roc as it would later be known is the highest point on the ride and the only named climb on the course. The out-and-back splits just before the Roc so I didn't have the steady stream of riders heading back to ask about the distance to the Roc or how hard it was. The only type of climbing that I was interested in at this point was 'into a bed'. Hey we have climbed a fair bit on this section. Is this the top of the Roc? My odometer was now off considerably so I was having problems calculating my precise location. Hey, now I'm going downhill. Am I descending off the Roc? No such luck. "Ou est le Roc?" I shouted to a woman getting into her car. "Sept kilometers" she pointed ahead. My heart sank. I wanted to go back and ask her if that was to the base or the top but I couldn't think of how to translate that question into French.

Eventually I did reach and climb the Roc.
It actually was not as hard as I had built it up to be. It was beautiful at the top. The Roq is obviously the highest point for hundreds of kms and that is how far the views reach in all directions. There is one large TV or cell phone tower on the top but no buildings. The descent off the backside of Le Roc was just what the doctor ordered, long and without the need to peddle. The first town past the Roc is Sizun. As I rode through town I didn't see them, possibly because I may have been sleep riding, but they saw me. Johnny and Greg were sitting at a café sipping café noir. When they saw me ride by with a dazed look on my face they headed out after me. They quickly caught me and boy was I glad to see them. Here I was fighting my way now through a stiff headwind as I expected, out toward Brest. I wondered if I could make the control. Well they had the same cutoff time but they chose to sit at a café for a coffee break. "I like these guys," I thought. They really helped me out toward Brest. I drafted behind them the whole way out. The feeling of seeing that bridge is overwhelming. I really hadn't thought about it this way. I didn't expect any special emotion upon reaching the half way point. You cross a body of water on the old bridge that now serves mainly pedestrians. This parallels the New bridge which is a large expansion structure that was VERY pleasing to our eyes. Maybe it is seeing the water. I don't know for sure but I was real happy. Some fellow on roller blades decided to race us across the pedestrian bridge after we had remounted from our picture stop. He wound up in a heap in the middle of the road, another PBP casualty. We passed the beach and then completed the one last significant climb up through town to the control. The controls of course are always at the top of a hill. A great weight was lifted as we checked into the control at 4:30 pm (cut off was 6:30 pm).

Although we had 84 hrs to complete the whole ride, only 37 could be used for the ride
out to Brest while 47 were allowed for the ride back. They have been doing this for a long time. That bonus time is mandatory for the trip back. I noticed Johnny's rear wheel to be out of true just before Brest. He diagnosed a broken spoke at the control. He gave his bike and spare spoke to the official mechanic and his bike was repaired as we ate. In Brest you get a free drink for your control stamp. I chose a coke. Man was it good. Ice cold, fetched from the bottom of a galvanized tub filled with ice water. My meal consisted of soup, pasta, bread, and 2 more cokes. We headed back for Paris just before 6:00pm but Johnny blew a flat leaving the control gate. His out of true tire had caused a sidewall gash. The mechanic should have recognized this but it really didn't matter. For that matter, anyone of us should have recognized this, but given our state of mind we might not have recognized if the mechanic had replaced Johnny's bike with a camel. Johnny had the tire changed inside of 5 minutes. I was impressed. We wanted to cheer the riders who had still not reached Brest, however; this is the second loop portion of the course and riders heading in the opposite directions cannot see one another. By the time we had rejoined the course it was past 6:30, the latest cutoff for Brest. We did see riders heading out to Brest and wondered what their stories were. Did they have extra time due to an accident or were they simply riding despite the fact that they would miss the closing time of the Brest control?

Our first stop on the way back was for a café noir in Sizun.
I noticed enhanced performance following the caffeine. Maybe it was psychological although I am a coffee junkie. I read that Scott Dickson stopped coffee 3 months prior to PBP so it would have maximum effect upon him during the event. My modified version of the Scott Dickson plan was to mix my regular coffee with half decaf for a week before PBP. Of course I drank twice the volume during that week so I doubt I gained any benefit. Our second stop was on top of Le Roc to don our warmer clothes. We debated about leg warmers and after a 100yrd trial, I convinced the boys to put it all on. The sun was just setting and the descent was fast and frigid. Just before Carhaix we went for American comfort food, a trip through the McDonalds drive thru for four Le Big Mac Deals. We all felt low on sodium. Ronald had us covered. We checked in at Carhaix and quickly left for Loudeac. The section between Carhaix and Loudeac is hilly and I was suffering. We were riding in a group of about 10. Most of the riders wore the same jerseys. They had an interesting style of riding. Two guys sat on the front the whole time while everyone else drafted. One larger older rider in the rear occasionally barked out an order or directions. We were traveling rather slowly but were happy to stay with them because there is strength in numbers particularly at night. Better visibility, for you to see the road and for cars to see you, my dear. Multiple minds tend to stay on course better than a solo into the night.

Once again I had been riding at or off the back.
We approached a well-lit area on the side of the road. I first thought it might be another secret control. Instead it was well staffed and organized support stand. It was around midnight and there were kids running all over the place. They carried coffee, lemon wedges, crepes, cookies, candies and nuts. I was feeling even better after two more coffees. The temperature had really been dropping. My monitor said 55 degrees. We quickly caught back to the members of our group who had shown poor judgment in not stopping at that support stand. I was quite cold but the coffee and hard riding had done wonders for me. In the next town there was an open bar and it was packed with riders all drinking coffee. Johnny and I had café noirs while Greg discussed the fast food dining habits of Americans with a 50 something Frenchman out front. Greg was devouring an ice cold Big Mac that he had stashed in a pocket in Carhaix while the Frenchman looked on in disgust. The multiple coffee doses now combined with the narcotic remnants of my antidiarritique to transform my nighttime riding. I was wired and without inhibition. This was some of the best nighttime descending that I have ever done. I was trying to stay with Greg. He is a natural descender. I recall him blowing by many riders. Hey I was too. Not my typical style. I also recall climbing into several towns thinking that 'this one MUST BE Loudeac' only to learn it was not yet Loudeac.

We made it to Loudeac around 2 am. The cafeteria was like a
M*A*S*H unit only all the doctors and nurses had been evacuated. Bodies were everywhere. I couldn't find a place to sit down with my tray. One guy was sleeping on a table flat on his back with his legs crossed Indian style and his arms folded on his chest. Was he stretching and sleeping at the same time, I thought. I really wanted a bowl of coffee but I held off since my destination for the night was only 20km away. I set out for La Trinite at 2:40am and there were still red lights bobbing all along the road ahead of me in the distance. The temperature was now in the upper 40s and I was frigid. This time I made no wrong turns and rolled into the house at 4 am. Amy was overjoyed to see me. She thought that I was probably out of the race somewhere. "How are you doing", she asked?

"I'm fighting for my PBP life," came my weak response. I was nearly 6 hrs behind schedule BUT I was still making the control cutoffs. I took a hot shower and went straight to bed. I elected not to eat since I had just had a meal in Loudeac. I hit the bed at 4:30am. I started shivering out of control. Amy piled multiple layers of clothes onto her shaking husband and eventually I stopped shivering enough to fall asleep at 5:30am.

DAY THREE



I was on my feet at seven and back on my bike at 8:00am Amy fixed me a
breakfast that consisted of peanut butter and chocolate crepe, pasta, mashed potatoes and coke. Patrick(5yr) and Clare(7yr) woke up before I left and Amy even got Abbey(2yr) up to see daddy. Amy thought our kids would give me a mental boost and she was right. The kids wanted to tell me all about handing out cokes and chocolate chip cookies to the riders. I just wanted to sit down and listen to them for hours but I had to go. I lubed my chain, which probably was unnecessary and left at 8:00am. It was an emotional send off, particularly for me.

It was brisk but not cold. I felt quite good although I was very much
in la touristamode. Johnny and Greg were 20km behind me and were supposed to be starting just before 8:00am. I stopped to take pictures. I stopped at a bakery where I saw Terry Arnold (3rd PBP). I stopped 100yrd past the bakery to take pictures of riders I didn't know. An old ivy wall provided the background. I couldn't resist - a very Old Europelook. I then came to the second secret control. Others were eating but I just checked in and kept going. I made my way to Tinteniac (858km) and along the way chatted with Phil Creel. At the control I met up with Johnny and Greg. I had a baguette avec jambon but Johnny couldn't fathom more ham.
"What do the French have against the pig," he asked?

Trois amis were back together and storming toward Fougeres. It was
another beautiful day and I was feeling my best since the start of the ride 3 days earlier. Of course what did I do? Did I take it easy? Did I sit in? NOOOOOOO! I rode at or off the front like the possessed neophyte that I was. I raced people in and out of the event. "Hey, you, I know your only 12 and riding a single speed but don't try that stuff around here, cause I'll smoke ya!" Greg tried to warn me but to no avail.

We came across Louise Rogers from the UK and an aussie rider.
They were talking about not wanting to ride with a group of Spaniard anymore because they were drinking too much. I hadn't noticed any Spaniards drinking but if a Brit and an Aussie thought so then I felt that the Spanish were likely imbibing excessively. Louise had an interesting story from the previous night. As the sun was setting she was rammed from behind by a boy on a motor scooter who had been blinded by the setting sun. They both wound up in the hospital. Fortunately she was able to continue after some bike repairs. She had asked if she could sit in for a while and we said no problem. Eventually Louise rode to the front to inform us that the bloke up ahead on the horizon was her cycling club's president. She asked that we all fall in behind her as our train would shortly blow past her president. For extra effect, we all were shouting "Slow down" as we rode by. Unfortunately the rider was not her president. We all had a good laugh anyway and then refused to let her off the front. Maybe we would have been kinder to her had we, or she, known that she was riding with a couple of cracked vertebrae and ribs. She found this out after returning to England. The French had given her pain medication and this possibly contributed to the fact that she was the happiest rider that I met during the event.

We all stopped at a bar before Fougeres but it was so hot and smoky that we just had
cokes and left. We did add a veteran Scottish rider to our group. He tried to convince the boys and me to push onto Nogent (1161km) rather than stopping in Mortagne (1077km) for the night. He felt that it might be too far to ride on the last day, 141km, if we stopped in Mortagne (1077km). I wondered if it had anything to do with the Norman invasion. Johnny and Greg had a hotel already booked in Mortagne and I really didn't feel like riding through the night. Just before Fougeres our noses stopped us. A bar had set up an outdoor grill and was grilling sausages. These of course were served on baguettes. We had a side of fries and 8 cokes to complete the feed stop.

Tinteniac to Fougeres is only 60 km and relatively flat.
It had been my fastest section on the ride out. Fougeres to Villaines-la-Juhel is another story. It is 79 km and extremely hilly. It was tough going out and even harder coming back. I remembered on the ride out thinking for the first time, "That section was tough." To say that I suffered is like saying that Nepal is hilly. Every 3rd hill or so I found Greg and Johnny waiting for me. I felt bad for holding them up but they refused to leave me. After meeting back up with them on one occasion I nearly caused Johnny to crash. I abruptly pulled off the road at the bottom of a descent to follow Johnny. Only it wasn't Johnny. Johnny was screeching to a halt in the gravel behind me trying to determine what on earth I was doing. I tried to explain that I thought that I was following him. At this point I pointed to the unknown rider who was now relieving himself. He gave me a strange "go away voyeur" look but I couldn't have cared less. I took the opportunity to relieve myself as Johnny rolled away shaking his head.

A short while back we had been worried about Johnny. He had
informed us that he was feeling very sleepy. He talked about lying down in a field for a while. The suggestion didn't sound all that bad to me so I took a precautionary Vivarin. Now it was clear that I was the weakest link. Finally 10km outside Villaines-la-Juhel they rode away from me. They would need some extra time at their drop bags. So many riders were passing me. I visually kept checking my tires but no flats were found to explain my snail like pace. I finally passed someone on the way into Villaines-la-Juhel. He was tres grand and possibly not even in the event but I mentally counted this as a victory and a signal that I may have something left.

It was a beautiful sight to crest the hill into Villaines-la-Juhel. There is a large church on the right and just past this on the left were
50 or so school kids. The kids had been positioned to wildly cheer each rider as they struggled into the control. The control was like a festival. The whole town was there. One gentleman helped me off my bike. Another helped me find a spot to park. They showed me where I parked my bike three times. I think I looked bad. Many people pointed me to the official control and then to the restaurant across the street. I knew that I needed food, mass quantities. As I approached the restaurant my heart sank. The line stretched 50 yards out side. I thought about my choices: 1. Wait in line or 2. Die on road. OK, I'll get in line. As I approached the end of the line people started pushing me forward. I thought that I would have time to weave my headlamp into my helmet but now I was fumbling with a helmet, headlamp and a tray. All of the people in line were townspeople, volunteers and support crew. Anytime a rider approached they were sent directly toward the front of the line. Let me tell you, they know how to eat in Villaines-la-Juhel. I first ordered an omelet from the man cooking over an open flame. I think it contained around 8 eggs, a hefty helping of fromage and the ubiquitous jambon. I also got soup, pasta, yogurt, coke and water. I started to pick up my tray when someone grabbed my arm and said, "Non." Then he signaled for a junior high aged kid to come help me. The kid picked up my tray and followed me down a ramp into the gymnasium converted into a large dining hall for this occasion.

I felt a little guilty to have someone carrying my tray but I wasn't
arguing. After I sat down I was happy to see Johnny being followed down the ramp by his boy helper. Greg followed but was carrying his own tray. I guess Greg looked pretty good. We chowed down.

Le Triplett



I decided to leave Villaines-la-Juhel before Johnny and Greg. I was
riding significantly slower than they were so I felt that a head start was in order. As I trudged up the hills outside Villaines-la-Juhel I saw a rider pulled over by the light police. The light police had deemed his taillight too dim. They suggested he change his batteries. The light police went on their way, as did the rider without further modification to his taillight. He told me that his light would be brighter once the conditions became darker. You can see how slow I was riding as I took this encounter fully in without stopping. After 20 km Johnny and Greg did in fact capture my breakaway.

Almost at the same time the triple that was riding caught us.
The triple caught us at a most opportune moment, for me. We were cresting a hill and thus they slowed enough for me to jump on. Unfortunately for the rest of our group, no one else had a chance to jump on before we rapidly disappeared into the downhill darkness. Man we were cooking. We were blowing by riders like they were standing still. I was afraid to look at my speedometer but on most downhills we were traveling near 70 km/hr (max speed that night 78.8 km/hr). I thought that I'd enjoy this unique drafting situation as long as I could. First, this is the only time that I have ever seen three guys on one bike. They were in an almost upright posture which made drafting ideal. They all were from England. Drew in the front with Superman shirt. Nigel in the middle, and Stephen in the rear. These guys were some riders. Stephen I would later learn was the points champion for the UK in 1997, setting an all time high score. He often competes in 24 hour time trials and has finished PBP on a fixed gear after riding a 24hr time trial the weekend before. Lets just say they were a little out of my league. But right now I was hanging onto their rear wheel like a dog onto a bone. The speed really didn't scare me. I was just happy that the kms were passing rapidly. At first we exchanged casual hellos but after 10k or so, Stephen began talking to me more. We had full introductions. I asked if they rode the triple often. "No" they said in unison. They had only completed 30miles on the triple before entering. All had qualified for PBP on single bikes. Stephen often had his head completely turned around talking to me but I found it difficult to hold eye contact at the speeds we were traveling. I suggested that Drew must have nerves of steel as he served as captain of their rig. Stephen and Nigel immediately countered that it was THEY who had the nerves of steel as they couldn't see a blasted thing about where they we going. Drew responded with, "Well, we either get around the curve or we don't."

As we had now covered around 20 of the remaining 60 kms to
Mortagne, I told them that they must have been sent as an answer to my mother's prayers. Drew said that they actually had been killed during the last PBP and were now commanded to patrol this section of road as ghost riders helping struggling randonnerurs throughout the night. At one point they apologized for not calling out a pothole but that just didn't matter to me. I told them that they could do whatever they wanted as long as they didn't drop me. I said that I didn't even mind their "gas!" This brought a round of laughs followed by a lively discussion of methane and it's effects on the various seating positions of the triple. When it comes to taking one for the team we all agreed that the stoker Stephen was the ultimate team player. The triple stopped on a hill for a pee break and I stopped with them. I actually stopped 50 yards ahead of them because I knew why they were stopping and I wanted to give them a little privacy. After they relieved themselves it was time for a snack. They called me back to their bike and provided me with honey-roasted peanuts. Mental note, honey roasted peanuts rule.

When we started rolling again we quickly passed the few riders that stopped
during our break. I congratulated myself for stopping with the triple because restarts and hill crests was the only chance to catch their wheel. We continued on through the night. Whenever we passed through a town we would hear shouts for the triple. "Le Triplett" was the most common shout. As we passed one group of onlookers there were shouts for the triple along with one cheer directed at me. Stephen quickly looked around and said, "What is this, now you're even getting some of our cheers!" It was a magical moment every time someone cheered on the triple. Stephen would look directly toward the supporters and flash the biggest smile that you have ever seen. He would wave and shout back. I felt like I was riding with celebrity. Actually, I was! Forty km into my massive wheel sucking session I began to fizzle on an uphill. They really were amazing. You realize how fast a tandem or triple can go downhill, but these guys were constantly passing riders on climbs. Anyway I felt them slipping away and I shouted thanks for the ride and I'd see them in Mortagne. Do you know what they did? They sat up and let me back on. That my friends is the spirit of PBP. A national champion and his two equally strong riding companions sitting up to wait on a struggling neophyte. When we finally rolled into Mortagne I could have kissed them. I had beaten my projected time of arrival by more than an hour.

The organization and
number of volunteers at Villaines-la-Juhel and Mortagne was unbelievably impressive. When I walked into the control in Mortagne I was greeted by a lively friendly Frenchman. I tried to ask about sleeping arrangements in French and he responded with, "Why don't you try it in English?" He spoke impeccable English.
"Where do they get these people," I thought? He showed me to the gymnasium next door. The gym had three hundred single mattresses on the floor separated by six inches each. As I was determining availability, Johnny and Greg arrived, twenty-five minutes after the triple and myself. "Did you ride that wheel all the way to Mortagne," Johnny asked incredulously?

Greg promptly threw up in the floor of the restaurant demonstrating how hard they had been riding trying to catch the triple and me. I left them in the restaurant and checked into the Mortagne gymnasium. I was informed that there currently were no available beds. I had two choices:
  1. Wait 5-10 minutes for a bed, or
  2. Go in and sleep in the floor now.
I chose the floor. They asked for my wake up time. I told them 4:30. They
pinned a number to my leg and led me into the gym. It was wild. Imagine three hundred exhausted people sleeping in a dark single room. Everyone was snoring. One person snoring in a room is annoying. Three hundred snoring in a room is soothing. It reminded me of being in the woods listening to frogs and crickets. Anyway I was out within ten seconds.

DAY FOUR



An hour and a half later I was awoken by, "Monsieur, quatre heure et demi."

"Je me leve," I impressively responded, thanking Michel Thomas
for his reflexive verb session that I had been listening to in my car for the week prior too leaving for France. I gathered up my things and headed for the restaurant. There was a woman trying to explain something to the control officials. She was very emotional and when I left was crying inconsolably. I had seen several riders abandon but this was the saddest sight of the ride. I wanted to ask if I could help but I knew that I couldn't. I ate breakfast in the restaurant and left at 5:05 am. Johnny and Greg were supposed to meet me by five but I knew that they would catch me on the course. I saw Ann Mullins and Nick Dobey. Ann was coughing so I gave her a few hits off my inhaler. Amazingly I had not needed it at all during PBP. I need it almost always on long rides at home. I'm sure this has to do with air quality. It was a cold dark descent out of Mortagne. I saw no crashes but heard about several later. When Johnny and Greg caught me they told me of an older rider lying in a pool of blood as they passed only a few minutes behind me. Johnny and Greg caught me on a hill not far out of Mortagne. I was struggling when I felt a much needed push from behind. Greg had grabbed my saddle and was pushing me uphill.

It was beautiful watching the sunrise as we headed toward Paris. The sun came up along with everyone's spirits. The end was in sight and barring truly extraordinary circumstances we would make it. We began riding along at a leisurely pace. I was riding with Johnny in the front and riders began attaching to the back. Soon we had twenty or so riders. I remember looking back and thinking, "These guys must really be hurting to draft off of us." Most of them were French. The one that I spoke to the most was Patrick from Orleans. He is a police officer and told me of his extensive highway patrolman hat collection. He said that he has collected all fifty states. He also keeps up with around twenty-five pen pals all over the world. There were no discussions of politics. Patrick did go out of his way to inform me that Americans are always welcome in France. He also coined the term Le Pipolette. I don't know if this is the correct spelling but it translates into chatterbox. You see Greg is extremely Greg-arious and definitely has a gift with conversation. Patrick was poking fun at him by referring to him as Le Pipolette. Every time he said this the whole group would shout and laugh and chime in with their own two-cents. At one point as Patrick was teasing Greg we were riding through a town and at a right arrow Patrick went left taking the whole group with him except for me. When I shouted "a la droit" the peloton switched direction and now began teasing Patrick about his navigational skills. Greg was at this point relieved of being Le Pipolette.

We rolled into Nogent le Roi, the last control before the finish. Everyone was
smiling. People were walking better. It had amazed me to see riders, who were barely able to walk, mount their bicycles and take off with perfect riding form. It was like the body had been de-conditioned for everything except riding a bicycle. We ate a huge breakfast. I had the best apple jelly donut of my life. It was a side to my breakfast lasagna, cantaloupe, bananas, cokes, oringina and baguette. Johnny was nervous about the bees (he has a serious allergy) and also of the extra time that we were taking. He wanted to make it to Paris before 80 hrs but I didn't see that happening. I was enjoying the ride now more than ever and I didn't want to see it end. We eventually agreed to enjoy our last few kms. We talked and laughed and basically were on top of the world. I wasn't even the least bit miffed when one of my lights shook off going over a section of cobbles smashing in the street below. Greg stopped and picked up the pieces, handing them to me when he returned to the group. The only unenjoyable part of this last section were the numerous stoplights that we had to wait at as we neared the finish.

Finally the finish line.
There was a small group of people cheering riders on at the finish line. A make shift three-foot wide wooden plank led us up and over a side walk close to the Gymnasium de Droits de L'homme. I wondered how many riders had taken a spill there.

This final check-in picture was snapped by Susan Notorangelo who was
there meeting her husband Lon Haldeman. They are two of the greatest amateur cyclists of all time. Susan was not riding PBP but was supporting Lon along the course. Lon rides PBP on a single speed so he can enjoy the event with the rest of us. Lon could ride the event much faster than he does but he has nothing to prove and is extremely wise. We milled about. Johnny and Greg were disappointed to find out that we didn't actually get to sign "the Great Book". We ate. I had a couple of Heinekens, sorry no Guinness for those of you who know me. We then watched the final finishers come in.

I saw Ann Mullins, Nick Dobey and Bob Coulter.
I talked with Jimmy Williams, Steven Andreus Tris Glanville and a most interesting English fellow named Martyn. Martyn had finished quite sometime earlier but was here checking out the final finishers on the last day. Martyn had ridden with the lead pack to Brest. He finished in 52 hrs. That is FAST. Martyn told us of the dynamics up front. It was fascinating. It is the only way that I will ever experience the lead pack. He said that most riders in that group were supported although he was not. Being supported however has its disadvantages as well. He told us of one group of riders not finding their support crew at one of the controls. They continued on without the needed supplies. The crew had in fact been waiting but at a different than expected location. When the riders never showed up well past their expected times, the crew left and headed back to Paris assuming that they had either crashed or abandoned. They did later abandon since they had not planned on riding unsupported. The supported riders had a crew handling their bikes, refilling their water bottles and stuffing food in their pockets at the controls. Martyn said that the lead group would ride easily out of the controls and reform into a sizable pack. Once everyone was happy that everyone that should be there was there, the pack would start hammering. He said that 6 French rabbits had led most of the way out to Brest where they abandoned. I asked him if he had suffered because to us he seemed like superman. He replied, "Yes." He said that his "saddle area" was raw from riding a straight 52 hrs. We took his word for it.

EPILOGUE



PBP is a wonderful experience. It is very difficult. It is at least as difficult mentally as physically. There were many hills where I simply repeated my kids' names over and over until I found myself at the crest. I have never done anything as hard as PBP. I will never do anything as hard as PBP. I'm just a regular guy. I shouldn't do anything harder, if it even exists. I guess you could turn around and ride it again like one group did once. Well I wont be riding it consecutively in that sense, but I will be back in four years. It is just too special to miss. I believe it is a metaphor for life. There are constant ups and downs. It is not easy but the rewards are great. Hard work and preparation pay dividends. You may choose to "race" through with a time goal as your reward to enjoy in the future, or you may choose to enjoy the ride in the present, so to speak. Hopefully next time I wont have to struggle so much, although there is something to be said for riding at the back. There are characters back there. I mentioned to Johnny and Greg that we had the added perspective of actually fearing missing a control cutoff. The uneasiness associated with this feeling is not pleasant but the reward of making the time cutoff is extraordinary. I will have a few things in my favor next time. I will be riding a distance that I have already conquered and I am no longer a neophyte. The official translated PBP information documents state:
"The Paris Brest Paris roads are hilly; the neophytes will realize this."
You will only realize this if you choose to become a neophyte. Remember, everyone in the great book was first listed as a neophyte.
Bon Courage. John Ende, PBP Ancien 2003

Danger in Dingé

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