Flèche 2018 - Randbros

Team Randbros

I don’t think they see many cyclists in the Bluegrass Barbecue in Cowpens South Carolina but it’s safe to say they know how to squelch a hunger. Team Randbros' swagger had developed a stumble in the mid day heat of upstate SC. We needed food. We needed drink. We needed it now. As I was opening the menu I asked the waitress about their specialty. “Whole Tater,” came her reply and became our mantra as to a man we all went Whole Tater! A box baked regulation football sized potato served as the base of this edible mountain but that was just the start. It had a stick of butter, a modicum of sour cream, cheese, 1/2 pound of pulled pork barbecue and a drowning of barbecue sauce. One may question the ramifications of such a dietary choice 85 miles into a 229 mile bicycle ride but we weren’t asking questions. We sought only answers, and the unanimous answer was Whole Tater!  Randbos were not half tater although in hindsight perhaps the lesser spud would have sat more gently as we pedaled the rolling hills of the upstate in the heat of the afternoon. Luke impressively cleared his plate except for the Texas toast which we all knew was simply a garnish to this behemoth. No one even touched the toast which looked like a saltine next to the entree.  Ryan and I battled on and eventually reached polycarbonate. Ritchie got a large Styrofoam to-go cup and packed nearly half for later rolling tater noshing. Kevin ate until his eyes bulged a bit and then covered the remains with a napkin. We all looked away.

https://instagram.com/p/BKJS9T9h11B/

Whole Tater! 2.5-3lbs of goodliness!!

Ritchie for scale

Over the course of the next several hours our digestive tracts battled the formidable Whole Tater and we turned north headed back towards NC.  We stopped for a photo control at Peachoid. 

The 8th Wonder of the World - Peachoid!

Mercifully the long shadows arrived and the air cooled a bit.  I really like riding at night but my favorite part of the day is the hour before sunset.  We were enjoying the golden hour on some very quiet roads with peach blossoms blooming and Spring everywhere.  The particular road at the moment was especially quiet as it had a bridge out (to cars) but we easily navigated the work section.

Seemsfine moment

Take the lane 2018, have two, road closed.

Although I was quite pleased with our course the spacing of food and drink seemed a little out of sync with our needs. Sure we recharged with the negatively charged ionic water at the top of Hwy 9 out of Black Mountain but that was hours ago. 
Our out of phase hunger/food cycle reached crescendo at mile 155 shortly before midnight in Old Fort NC when we were denied drive thru service at a “24 hour” McDonalds.  We had been dreaming about our orders for the last 20 miles.  Ryan had settled on a McFlurry which would be eaten solely with french fries as utensils and a side hamburger.  Luke was asking questions about the Big Mac. Why the extra bun?  How's the special sauce? It was all for naught.  Bicycles are a “security concern” according to the assistant general manager who was reached by phone. As Ritchie explored the nuances of security concerns and different bicycle /McDonald's App order scenarios at McDonalds, Luke, Ryan and I made a mad dash to stick a foot in the door of the closing at midnight convenience store. This was now our only option for fuel prior to the major climb back into Black Mountain and we seized the moment.  Can we still buy a few things ma'am?  "Sure Honey" was music to our ears. We were also buying for Ritchie and Kevin who hadn’t entirely specified their orders. The store was past closing and the chaotic buying frenzy that ensued recalled that show where participants would fill up their shopping carts with as many items as possible in a minute. Ritchie finally conceded to McDonalds that we were a security concern and rolled over to survey our cornucopia of convenience laid out on the ice machine outside. Rando buffet! The door was now locked and the lights off for the night.  I shot a V8 then washed it down with a Yoo Hoo. Then some salt and VINEGAR chips topped off with a Klondike bar. Granted, it was a bit experimental but isn’t that what randonneuring is all about? Utter exhaustion and gastric mixology. Well this mix didn’t sit well. Kevin was disassembling his bicycle for the Uber back to Asheville and I was gagging trying to hold back the volcano rumbling in my belly.  It did not look good for Team Randbros.  Not good at all.  A small lava flow came forth and then I was back in action. We were down to 4 now as our only clearly thinking member had just pulled the plug. I think I can speak for all of us when I say I was a bit envious of Kevin and his plan for a shower, beer and a bed. My immediate concern however was my clearly defined role as the weak link in our little chain-gang. Kevin and I had taken turns all day dangling off the back. Now he was in a car and I was still dangling. I heard my crew in preliminary mutiny discussions as they waited on me to recover by the storm drain after my little science experiment. “Oh nothing,” they said when I asked what was up but I heard the whispers. I think they had already divvied up my kit and components. Ritchie had been asking an awfully lot of questions about my Wahoo GPS.

Surprisingly, I made it back up old 70 (Lookout Trail) and then I sucked some serious wheel as we flew back into Asheville on a fast gentle downhill. In route planning I was careful to seek out a few exceedingly steep climbs on our way to the Huddle House, the last control before sleep. The kind of climbs where if you go right and then left its entirely flat but if you go left and then right you have an 18% up followed by an 18% down. It keeps the legs fresh. We opted to eat at the Huddle House since a stamp and go would put us too early to our planned sleep stop. Ryan ordered 1800 calories of fuel but then turned the Huddle House into an unplanned sleep stop. After picking through Ryan’s side orders we woke him and cleaned our plates. 

We arrived at Ricky’s Lounge at 4:15am with a glorious two hour stop in our thoughts. The team hit their bunks like Tyson hits a uncovered jaw. I was very careful to set my iPhone alarm to 5:45 am. Sleep came quickly but then was ingloriously interrupted by a thigh cramp. As I grabbed for my leg I felt our cat pounce on my foot. How did our cat get in here? Our door is closed. Oh well, I looked at the clock. 6:00am! Wait, what happened? I looked at my phone. Curiously the alarm was off. I suspect gremlins or maybe the cat. Anyway, I kitted up and we shot out of the house and into the rain. Ugh. Only 43 miles to finish but at least it now felt like a flèche. Rain and puddles and wet feet. This felt familiar.  The last 43 miles were relatively flat by Asheville standards. An out and back to Marshall on the River Road for our 22 hr control then a triumphant return to the Rise and Shine Café on Merrimon Avenue. I figured there would be a few reporters or at least a supporter or two.  Although the roads were wet and we had some occasional light rain on the way out to Marshall we had no idea of what was yet to come. Just as we were pulling the receipt out of the Credit Union ATM in sleepy Sunday downtown Marshall the first warning shots fell from the sky. They were those big drops that will change a screen on a Garmin not the sprinkles that we had seen so far. I soft pedaled while the team put on rain jackets. The rain was off and on back to the Water Treatment Plant and just before there we stopped for a brief nature break and rain jacket removal. Rain jacket removal so close to the finish didn't feel right. The mood was a darkening grey and increasingly ominous. Nothing brings the fury from the sky like the premature stowage of gortex. As we turned onto Elk Mountain road to climb back up to city elevation the heavens opened. It was a deluge and then it was biblical. This wasn't New Testament rain, it was Old Testament rain.  We were literally climbing a river. The winds blew against us daring another pedal stroke. Cars all drove with their hazard lights flashing. Most gave us wide berth as we were obviously not of sound mind riding bicycles in such conditions. At least the sheets of rain prevented the slightest heckling as no window could be rolled down not even a crack.  The road was not visible and many items tumbled along in the flowing water.  Pebbles, gravel, sticks, cans, road kill, phone polls etc.  I was constantly braced to hit a pot hole or speed bump because they could be hidden under the water.  I desperately wanted to record video but I was not willing to take a hand off the bars.  So close now.  Can't risk it.

Despite the torrent we did arrive at the Rise and Shine but more as drowned rats coming ashore than triumphantly returning conquerers.  Jennifer and Maslow and Asia and Edie met us for the Eggs Benediction.  I had already stripped everything off above shorts level and for the first time of the ride donned my yellow paper 02 rain jacket.  It was high rando fashion countering the church crowd. We were all dripping wet and now a bit chilled.  Asia brought towels and we wrapped them around our waists like kilts.  The wet floor caution signs were out around our table and other patrons seemed to be all asking for their checks. 

At least the rain had suppressed our stench.  Ian brought his team by for the celebration, Chris Graham, Dave McDonald and Bradley Waffa.  Joel had already high tailed it out of town with his belly full of Asheville suds.  Chet and Cindy also joined us, representing the only standing members of their team which eventually was brought down by a cat but I'll let them tell that story.

Thanks to my very strong team for pulling me around all day.  You guys made it look easy and always kept it positive.  That's a huge part of rando.  Keep it positive.  That way you can fool yourself that you're having fun!  I'll leave you with this bit of advice.  If your ever find yourself in Cowpens SC and you have a hunger, hit the Bluegrass Barbecue and don't Half Tater!

Ricky's Lounge start

Lake Lure portrait spot

Apple and or Peach trees in bloom

Horse farms and quiet roads.

Of course we had night gravel.  What do you think this is our first flèche?